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A technical analysis of the Sen-Bhagavati debate

The entire debate on India's development policies with Sen and Dreze and Bhagavati and Panagariya on one side and the Supercraponomics research desk on the other has been watched by the world-wide economics community with great interest. We do however notice a dangerous trend of half-baked economists trying their hand at a simplistic interpretation of the debate. Sen's book titled 'India - an uncertain glory' is large and hardbound, especially if you go for the hardback edition. Bhagavati's on the other hand is available as free download illegally on some .ru website. But is that all there is by way of differences in their positions?
We will now show, through an in-depth and highly technical analysis, that the differences between the two theories are deep-rooted and sinister. Bhagavati's oft-stated position is that our population growth is a pre-requisite for happiness, while Sen believes that this growth cannot happen without some basic human capabilities, supported by healthcare. If you apply the same positions to per capita income growth, the results can be viewed simply as this self-explanatory diagram below.

Bhagavati envisages a red ring while Sen seems to have come up with an ellipse or something. It should be clear to economists now that both models have their merits that require careful consideration.

Chris Gayle 175* staged by BCCI

Chris Gayle made 175 runs off 66 balls on April 23rd, 2013 as the world watched. Or did he? We at Supercrap know better than to believe that someone's capable of insane hitting like that. As we started snooping around and digging up old unrelated images, the mystery was unravelled slowly but surely.

We cannot possibly present all of the evidence here but here's a sampling. The pic to the left has the only two people on the pitch at that time. If that be the case, who took the photo?

Well, zoom is definitely a very good answer.

Moving on.

This, to the left, is a picture of the ball when Gayle hit it for a humongous six, supposedly, and the space vehicle sent to retrieve it. Well, it's also a picture of the night sky, ain't it?

Then tell us one thing, BCCI - why are there no stars in the sky in this photo?

Clear fake.

That's not all, there's a radiation belt that the ball would have crossed called, well, dangerous radiation belt (working title), that would have melted and vaporised it clean. But no, in BCCI's magical world, the ball returned, seemingly unharmed, only to be dispatched again by Gayle.

If you are a statistics aficionado, here's another perspective. Kapil Dev scored 175 off 138 balls and the guy's what, six foot tall and weighed 80 kg in 1983. If we were to do a quick pro-rata calculation on what Chris Gayle's dimensions would be, capping his height arbitrarily at 10 feet, we have a 10 foot tall, 100 kg monster.

Nice try Gayle and BCCI, but not good enough.

The population myth

What's a constant and what's a variable? In an age when one can't even be sure of the speed of light, we at SC are comforted by one constant that cannot be challenged in theory or practice. The 'Olympic constant' is this magic number 30 lakhs, which is the ratio between the population of a country and the number of medals it won at the Olympics. It applies only to the US and only at the 2012 Olympics but is treated as a universal constant.
Let's take a moment to understand the significance of this constant. Given a medal tally, you can arrive at a country's true population. Why's that so interesting? Well, India's population, given the rich haul of 6 medals, stands at 1.8 cr, not 120 cr as reported in the media and by social scientists. What is really going on here?
This means that India has only 1 big city. Take another moment to digest that. Mumbai and Delhi are actually the same place. Bangalore and Hyderabad are of, course overtly the same city which is why you see a signboard that says 'Bangalore -->, Hyderabad <--' near the Bangalore airport. And all these 4 are the same. Throw in a Chennai and Kolkata if you want. All same. That's incidentally why that Chatur fool was playing a Tam but sounding Bong in 3 idiots.
Why would we have people believe India has a population of 120 cr when we actually don't have that many people? SC believes this has something to do with the growth story and wage rates. If people realised labour's actually in short supply, wages would increase, profits would come down, India'd no longer be an investment destination of choice. I mean we need to be ahead of China in something, no?

Global Warming Conspiracy

It goes without saying that global warming theory is a conspiracy. The smarter reader does not ask if it is a conspiracy but who instigated it? Who can benefit from panic of warmer climate/higher sea levels? It has eluded greater minds than yours.

Is it corporations making air-conditioning equipment or aerosol substitutes? or is it wannabe presidents who don't have any other agenda? Research organizations looking for funding? pah.. you have to dig deeper Watson!

Ofcourse we yet again provide the only plausible explanation. and here it goes.. Have you ever realized that the  most expensive real estate always lies on sea coasts?  see the world map with high expensive real estate regions highlighted.

No shit Sherlock.. Now what can in-land cities do to compete with the natural disadvantage of not having a sea next to them. I see the faint ray of realization dawning upon you. Obviously the in-land cities have to conspire, cartelize and indulge in mis-propaganda to gain a vantage point; and what better scare can there be than rising sea levels, to fight the rising popularity of coastal cities. Washington DC, New-Delhi, Moscow and even London, the great power centers are all ofcourse part of this conspiracy. And with their political and intellectual power they can easily influence the world thought. No wonder the Global Warming band wagon has risen so fast.

PS: we have taken a new initiative of making our own maps to avoid copy-right issues and deliver superior research to our audience (i.e. you)

Optimising the Satyamaev Jaiyate format

Aamer Khan's stepped up as usual, to save us from ourselves. Even a usual TV show has several economic transactions among the channel, advertisers, producers, actors and so on. With impassioned calls to 'action' (i.e. sms), this show has even more. This is where the SC team simplifies things for you. Today we apply one principle to Satyamaev Jaiyate - eliminate the middleman.
To donate to the cause for example, the channel recommends you sms 'sucker' to 56565. Instead, donate directly to the NGO in question so the service provider does not pocket a margin. Pesky middleman #1 eliminated!
We move on to the most suboptimal part of the show, i.e. the show itself. (Yes, we get it. We were against dowry even before all the emotional blackmail). The economic transaction is as follows. You watch the show - your eyeballs are worth something to the corporates because of the advertising and prospective sales, say 5 cr. The corporates keep 1 cr and give 4 to the channel. The channel keeps 1 and gives 3 cr to Aamer Khan. Our desk recommends that TV viewers pool in cash every week and pay off Aamer directly to not appear on the show, thereby saving 2 cr instantly!
The beauty of the solution is that the middleman here between the victims and the audience, a hamming over-the-top Aamer Khan is also eliminated. That's 3 middlemen gone in one stroke!
Above all, kudos to the SC desk for saving you that one precious hour on Sundays.



 

Goa has only one beach

Ever felt a sense of deja vu stepping into a beach in Goa, even if it's one you're sure you've never set foot on? Also, ever wonder why Goan roads are never straight? It's not your mind playing tricks on you, dear tourist. Goa has only one beach. SC's mystery audit team posed as foreign tourists from Nepal this weekend and did a covert mapping operation of the entire beach town. The real map of Goa is the one above. The approach routes are expertly looped to give tourists an illusion of going to different beaches every time. And then sell them another set of the same stuff - breezers, stale french fries with flies, sunbathing cots and oil massages. So settle down in one beach next time.