Ever tried going anywhere in Mumbai to do anything? It's not possible, is it? Because there are 1 million people who are there already, who've either blocked you out of another life experience altogether, or ensure that all life experiences resemble getting into a morning local at Kurla.
Take the Kala Ghoda festival, for example. I've tried to break into the inner circle (literally) several times in this annual festival that happens every quarter. But I never get beyond the food stalls. Some others who've been regulars (at the food stalls) now believe that that's all there is to the festival. Why would someone take a train from Virar, say, go to Kala Ghoda, eat a pani puri after hustling through a sea of a lakh people, and return to Virar? So that's three local train experiences in one day. The answer lies in his/her expectations when he/she set out. Sitting on the steps, with only the night sky above you, listening to live music with a chai in your hands.
I try to call the box office at a concert hall. Sold out. Movies. Sold out. Except the 3D sci-fi animation whateva that no one really watches. Is all this just a problem of too many people? Should we just say people north of Sion go off to Pune to watch movies or to experience culture? Maybe, maybe not.
The solution is to increase the capacity of the local train network. The hustle and chaos and free market ruthlessness of local train seating has left the average Mumbaiite with a psychological need for 'organised crowd' experiences. Places where their seat is assured and they can keep their entire..er..tashreef. A simple thought experiment would be sufficient to illustrate. Let's assume a multiplex announces a 2 hour movie show without a movie. You just sit in the a/c theater for 2 hours, stare at a blank screen, close your nose when someone orders a stale chicken sandwich and maybe doze off. This would run to packed houses, just like Laaga Chunari Mein Daag did, which everyone says was worse than no movie.
So rather than shoving people out of Mumbai, just add a few trains and tracks. You'll soon be able to get tickets to a Salman Khan movie on Saturday night or to go to Kala Ghoda early morning and sit on the steps that very same evening.
Take the Kala Ghoda festival, for example. I've tried to break into the inner circle (literally) several times in this annual festival that happens every quarter. But I never get beyond the food stalls. Some others who've been regulars (at the food stalls) now believe that that's all there is to the festival. Why would someone take a train from Virar, say, go to Kala Ghoda, eat a pani puri after hustling through a sea of a lakh people, and return to Virar? So that's three local train experiences in one day. The answer lies in his/her expectations when he/she set out. Sitting on the steps, with only the night sky above you, listening to live music with a chai in your hands.
I try to call the box office at a concert hall. Sold out. Movies. Sold out. Except the 3D sci-fi animation whateva that no one really watches. Is all this just a problem of too many people? Should we just say people north of Sion go off to Pune to watch movies or to experience culture? Maybe, maybe not.
The solution is to increase the capacity of the local train network. The hustle and chaos and free market ruthlessness of local train seating has left the average Mumbaiite with a psychological need for 'organised crowd' experiences. Places where their seat is assured and they can keep their entire..er..tashreef. A simple thought experiment would be sufficient to illustrate. Let's assume a multiplex announces a 2 hour movie show without a movie. You just sit in the a/c theater for 2 hours, stare at a blank screen, close your nose when someone orders a stale chicken sandwich and maybe doze off. This would run to packed houses, just like Laaga Chunari Mein Daag did, which everyone says was worse than no movie.
So rather than shoving people out of Mumbai, just add a few trains and tracks. You'll soon be able to get tickets to a Salman Khan movie on Saturday night or to go to Kala Ghoda early morning and sit on the steps that very same evening.
Aint it easier to make train rides longer so that ppl dont have time for culture and sh!t?
ReplyDeleteinteresting point raised by one of our regular readers - qwerty. we've done some preliminary work in this area incidentally. it is true that longer train rides in the 'long run' would lead to lesser people outside the trains i.e. in kala ghoda. we want to maximise the product (# of people in train * time spent in train). If we go for shorter train-length (so that the ride is longer) that would affect the number of people. short double-decker trains seem to be the way forward...
ReplyDeleteor you can also change the track of the train from straight line to more zig zag... that will be lead to longer train rides too
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